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Humans Are Stupid

I take it all back. Everything I said the other day about humans being smart, and creative… I was wrong. Way wrong. No intelligent being would ever jump 143 meters (400 feet) from a gondola perched over a river with nothing more than a bunch of rubber bands tied to his ankles. That’s simply ludicrous!

Yet… being the buffoons that we are… we did just that.

Yet another New Zealand 2-for-1 adventure. And by “2-for-1” I mean getting to the planned adventure destination, is actually an adventure all in itself. Tracking up the side of a mountain on a skinny and windy dirt road in a raised off-road van with no seat belts.

Seat belts!? Pshaw! Who needs those, we’re going bungee jumping dude! Live life on the edge!

Once at the top of the mountain — which also happens to be the edge of a gorge — we pull off the road and pile out of the van into the command center. We empty our pockets of any valuables and good luck charms, and then get strapped into our safety harness. You do want to be safe when being stupid don’t ya?

Next we climb onto the scale for a final weigh-in, after which they write your weight on your hand with a big red marker. Then you make your way out to the edge of the world. This is exactly the point at which the nerves start to set in and your bladder starts to weaken. Good thing there’s a bathroom nearby!

But at this point I’m not even sure if I’m still qualified to use the mens bathroom. I think this one might be more appropriate:

Crap! Now I weigh less! “I’m doomed as doomed can be I must say!” Weight no, that just means I won’t hit the bottom anymore. Okay. Good.

[WARNING: All blood relatives will want to turn off the computer at this point and walk away. Nothing to see here. Show is over. We didn’t jump after all. We chickened out and went home with our tail tucked between our legs.]

Are they gone?

OK, good. THIS, is what we are jumping out of:

COME AGAIN!?!? You can’t be serious!!!

Yup. 143 meters straight above the river, is a small 10×10 foot gondola suspended over the canyon by two metal cables.

Just enough room for a few guys, a small radio with some music to amp you up, and a dentists chair…

…for just a few more seconds of torture before the countdown…

When you hear “one” it’s GO TIME!!!

There is absolutely NO turning back now. You are screwed!

And that’s when you let out a blood curdling scream that just echos through the canyons scaring birds out of their nests and reptiles back into their holes.

Or in my case, you curse like a sailor!

[excuse the explicitives]

Idiot indeed!

But you know what? It’s addicting! Egads is it addicting!! 8 seconds of free fall head first, hurtling towards the ground at close to terminal velocity *gulp* WOW what a RUSH!!!!!

Here’s the best part of all, after the jump I was walking around outside trying to bring my adrenaline levels back down to normal when I stumbled across an old bungee cord.

Upon closer inspection…

…it’s nothing more than several hundred paddle-ball rubber bands all bundled together!!

Do you know how many times I’ve had one of those cords snap on me as a kid??

And to think I just entrusted that thing with my life!!!

I’ll say it again

“Oh my god, I’m an idiot!”

-me, 2009

I’m Not Sure If This Is What Newton Had In Mind

Many of the activities we have planned here in New Zealand depend on the cooperation of mother nature. You wouldn’t exactly want to bungee jump during a blizzard would ya? What’s that you say? You don’t EVER want to bungee jump? Lame. Well we do, but more on that in another blog entry.

Today our plans to fly out to Milford Sound were foiled by some excessive precipitation there. So instead we decided to hurl our bodies down the side of a mountain at the Queenstown Skyline.

First, you need a mountain.

That’s where the gondola ride comes in.

Up and over the sheep on the hillside…

…and past the bungee platform…

Or, alternatively if you’re too impatient for all of that, you can take the more direct route via helicopter.

Either way, you need to make your way to the top so you can then transfer to the luge-lift…

Then it’s just a matter of grabbing your helmet and sled…

…and letting gravity do it’s thing.

Before you know it, you’re screaming down the side of the mountain at breakneck speeds running little kids off the road and laughing all the while.

Now if only we can find out way outta here before their parents catch us.

Information Super Highway Robbery

New Zealand adventure sports are X-Treme!

New Zealand Internet access is X-Pensive!

$0.68 per minute. $0.10 per MB if you use over 50 MB within 24 hours!

SAY WHAT!?!?

I guess it’s that whole supply and demand thing. Everyone here just spends so much time outdoors hanging upside down or floating on a kite or kayaking down a river, that there is so little demand for Internet access. That in turn drives the prices up. Not that that’s a bad thing persay, but some of us have blogs to maintain! Sheesh. Get with the program kiwis!

Fine! I’m outside now. Ya happy!?

The Most Beautiful Country On Earth

We just touched down in Queenstown, New Zealand…

…and if the view from 30,000 feet is any indication, this place is gonna be amazing! It’s sort of a cross between Lake Tahoe, Mendocino, and Heaven. Or so I hear.

Giant mountains with snow capped peaks meet up with a beautiful blue lake at the base.

The sky is clear. The air is crisp and fresh, and the people are as friendly as can be.

There are giant sequoias…

…and regular giants…

…all within an earshot from our hotel.

I’m not leaving. You can’t make me!

Sydney Satisfaction

One of the must-do activities that everyone suggests while in Sydney, is the Bondi to Bronte walk. Bondi & Bronte are two beaches along the east coast of Sydney. The weather forecast predicted rain, but there’s a reason they are called “predictions” cuz they are never right! So we forged on down the coastline…

…starting at Bondi…

…where your life is hand delivered in a yellow truck. “Please sign here for your package.”

If you’ve ever walked down West Cliff Drive in Santa Cruz, CA, this walk is somewhat similar. But with very dissimilar erosion.

I could be mistaken, but I believe this is sandstone or something similar.

Around one of the turns I looked back over my shoulder, and saw this sight…

…now while it’s a nice looking coastline, there was something else going on here that felt much more special. It was a scene very similar to the very scene that inspired this entire trip for me back in April of 2007. I was driving with the sun roof open down the west coast of America on Highway 1. Headed from Santa Barbara to Los Angeles. Cliff side homes on the left, and the giant Pacific Ocean as far as the eye could see on the right. “This world is huge! And I need to see the rest of it.” I thought to myself.

Seeing this view here in Australia, on the other side of the Pacific Ocean gave me a real feeling of satisfaction. Setting out to do something huge, and accomplishing it. This one scene brought everything around full circle. Pure happiness! 🙂

Ya know what else makes me happy?

Words with 8 vowels in them, and all of them Oh’s.

Like this area of Sydney called Wooloomooloo!

That’s an Oh overdose folks!

After walking the Wooloomooloo wharf, we went to watch where woodchucks chuck. At the botanical gardens. Does it get any more picturesque than this?

This is THE spot to watch the fireworks show from next New Years Eve.

2009 is gonna be a good year!

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