You remember how the other day I mentioned needing mother nature to cooperate in order to partake in the many outdoor activities here in New Zealand? Yeah, well today she was a bit feisty!
We were picked up at the hotel in the Fat Tyre vehicle this morning…
…and after a few minute drive down the road, we took the mountain bikes off the roof-rack, and wheeled them into the hangar.
Sort of a weird place to mountain bike, right? Right. Except, out back behind the hangar, and next to the Red Bull acrobatic plane…
…was this beautiful blue & gold helicopter, complete with bike racks!
That’s right, today’s adventure sport will be: Heli-biking!
Heli-biking is the sport of strapping mountain bikes to a helicopter, and then taking said helicopter up and over the airport…
…over the river…
…to the tipity top of the highest mountain you can find.
Once at the top, you take the bikes off the helicopter, and it then takes off. Leaving you, your bike, and your helmet there on the mountain top to fend for yourself.
And fend we did! Mother nature got the best of us at the top. The winds up there were in excess of 40 knots, gusting up to 60 knots! At those speeds you can barely even stand upright, let alone balance on two wheels! At times we would be leaning on the bikes into the wind riding at a 45 degree angle to the ground! Once you were blown off the bike, there was no way you were gonna get back on it. So you had to walk it to the next alcove to duck out of the wind and start all over again.
Sometimes I think the only thing holding me on the mountain was the banana I ate that morning and the bottle of water in my backpack! You could literally lift the bike off the ground and the wind would just blow it sideways so that it was practically laying flat, hovering over the ground. If I let go, the bike was a goner. But I liked that bike. It was the only way I was gonna get down off this mountain and out of this vortex.
Luckily, after several minutes of walking the bike through the wind, the trail ducked back down below the peak. This sheltered us considerable from the gusting wind.
From there on down, we were able to blaze a trail to the foot of the mountain with very few injuries. Jay nearly injured a bovine in the path, but no burgers would be compromised this day.
At the end of the trail, it emptied us off into some farmland, and we peddled out of the farm and down the road to an old inn, one of the oldest in New Zealand according to our guide.
We sat out back and ate some food and downed some refreshments to replenish our energy levels.
We then loaded the bikes into the trailer and headed back home. This will be one of the best nights of sleep ever! Fighting against those winds at that altitude really wears ya down. Good night!
I take it all back. Everything I said the other day about humans being smart, and creative… I was wrong. Way wrong. No intelligent being would ever jump 143 meters (400 feet) from a gondola perched over a river with nothing more than a bunch of rubber bands tied to his ankles. That’s simply ludicrous!
Yet… being the buffoons that we are… we did just that.
Yet another New Zealand 2-for-1 adventure. And by “2-for-1” I mean getting to the planned adventure destination, is actually an adventure all in itself. Tracking up the side of a mountain on a skinny and windy dirt road in a raised off-road van with no seat belts.
Seat belts!? Pshaw! Who needs those, we’re going bungee jumping dude! Live life on the edge!
Once at the top of the mountain — which also happens to be the edge of a gorge — we pull off the road and pile out of the van into the command center. We empty our pockets of any valuables and good luck charms, and then get strapped into our safety harness. You do want to be safe when being stupid don’t ya?
Next we climb onto the scale for a final weigh-in, after which they write your weight on your hand with a big red marker. Then you make your way out to the edge of the world. This is exactly the point at which the nerves start to set in and your bladder starts to weaken. Good thing there’s a bathroom nearby!
But at this point I’m not even sure if I’m still qualified to use the mens bathroom. I think this one might be more appropriate:
Crap! Now I weigh less! “I’m doomed as doomed can be I must say!” Weight no, that just means I won’t hit the bottom anymore. Okay. Good.
[WARNING: All blood relatives will want to turn off the computer at this point and walk away. Nothing to see here. Show is over. We didn’t jump after all. We chickened out and went home with our tail tucked between our legs.]
Are they gone?
OK, good. THIS, is what we are jumping out of:
COME AGAIN!?!? You can’t be serious!!!
Yup. 143 meters straight above the river, is a small 10×10 foot gondola suspended over the canyon by two metal cables.
Just enough room for a few guys, a small radio with some music to amp you up, and a dentists chair…
…for just a few more seconds of torture before the countdown…
When you hear “one” it’s GO TIME!!!
There is absolutely NO turning back now. You are screwed!
And that’s when you let out a blood curdling scream that just echos through the canyons scaring birds out of their nests and reptiles back into their holes.
Or in my case, you curse like a sailor!
[excuse the explicitives]
Idiot indeed!
But you know what? It’s addicting! Egads is it addicting!! 8 seconds of free fall head first, hurtling towards the ground at close to terminal velocity *gulp* WOW what a RUSH!!!!!
Here’s the best part of all, after the jump I was walking around outside trying to bring my adrenaline levels back down to normal when I stumbled across an old bungee cord.
Upon closer inspection…
…it’s nothing more than several hundred paddle-ball rubber bands all bundled together!!
Do you know how many times I’ve had one of those cords snap on me as a kid??
And to think I just entrusted that thing with my life!!!
Many of the activities we have planned here in New Zealand depend on the cooperation of mother nature. You wouldn’t exactly want to bungee jump during a blizzard would ya? What’s that you say? You don’t EVER want to bungee jump? Lame. Well we do, but more on that in another blog entry.
Today our plans to fly out to Milford Sound were foiled by some excessive precipitation there. So instead we decided to hurl our bodies down the side of a mountain at the Queenstown Skyline.
First, you need a mountain.
That’s where the gondola ride comes in.
Up and over the sheep on the hillside…
…and past the bungee platform…
Or, alternatively if you’re too impatient for all of that, you can take the more direct route via helicopter.
Either way, you need to make your way to the top so you can then transfer to the luge-lift…
Then it’s just a matter of grabbing your helmet and sled…
…and letting gravity do it’s thing.
Before you know it, you’re screaming down the side of the mountain at breakneck speeds running little kids off the road and laughing all the while.
Now if only we can find out way outta here before their parents catch us.
$0.68 per minute. $0.10 per MB if you use over 50 MB within 24 hours!
SAY WHAT!?!?
I guess it’s that whole supply and demand thing. Everyone here just spends so much time outdoors hanging upside down or floating on a kite or kayaking down a river, that there is so little demand for Internet access. That in turn drives the prices up. Not that that’s a bad thing persay, but some of us have blogs to maintain! Sheesh. Get with the program kiwis!
…and if the view from 30,000 feet is any indication, this place is gonna be amazing! It’s sort of a cross between Lake Tahoe, Mendocino, and Heaven. Or so I hear.
Giant mountains with snow capped peaks meet up with a beautiful blue lake at the base.
The sky is clear. The air is crisp and fresh, and the people are as friendly as can be.
