We don’t have a whole lot of time to spend in Madrid since we spent extra time in Barcelona. So we got an early start today to try and cram in as much sightseeing as possible.
What better place to start than at the beginning — or the Zero-kilometer sign in Plaza del Sol from which all of the distances in Spain are measured.
Also in the plaza is the famous statue of the official logo of Madrid, the bear eating berries out of the tree…
We would later find out that the bears which were once so common in these parts were pretty much wiped out because they would get drunk off the berries in these Madroño trees and then pass out underneath them and get killed for their fur. Yeah, that’s who I want for MY mascot! Nice choice Madrid. I’m just sayin’.
If there is one thing about the Madrileños (or gatos as they sometimes like to be called) it’s that they LOVE their jamon (ham) and take great pride in their acorn fed animals. I wandered into a Museo de Jamon for a quick snack because it looked more like a restaurant to me than a museum. In fact a Flesh Factory might be a more appropriate title.
I guess if hanging lots of something on your walls qualifies you to call yourself a museum, then this place certainly is one.
All meat. All the time.
From one scene of a great massacre to the next…
Plaza Mayor, where many a criminal was paraded around before being executed for high-crimes and misdemeanors.
Crimes like cheating at a messed up game of oversized tic-tac-toe! That’s messed up man!
But there’s a brighter side to Madrid, the Northwest side. Where you will find picturesque squares like this one…
…and these gardens…
…surrounding The Royal Palace…
…and the Almudena Cathedral.
Funny story about the palace and cathedral. At the time of their initial construction, the then king had a huge ego, and he wanted the palace to be the the largest royal palace in Western Europe. In the above pictures you can see 3 of the 6 stories that make up the 2,800+ rooms in this mega-mansion. The other 3 stories (and ~1000 rooms) are completely unusable as they are all filled with sand! Apparently the earth that the palace was build on was so unstable, and unable to bear the weight of the massive building that they had to turn the bottom three floors into a foundation for the upper 3 floors!
Similarly the cathedral across the way underwent 3 different phases of construction and had over 5 different contractors working to rush the completion of the building in time for the pope’s visit. It looks okay from far away, but if you get close you can really see the hodgepodge of varying architectural designs.
Now here is where the day gets interesting (a.k.a. uber-dorky)! At 4pm we met up with a tour guide (Anthony) at Plaza Espana, right near some warped trees…
by the Don Quixote statue…
The thing you need to know about Anthony and the tour is… well, just see for yourself…
Yup. It’s all via Segway scooters! Now before you fall out of your seat laughing, just understand that we had limited time in the city so we had to make the most of it, and Segway’s are pretty gosh darn efficient at covering a lot of distance in little time. Anthony had a massive amount of knowledge about the city and even though we got a lot of stares from onlookers, it was well worth the experience. While other tourists were limited to walking, we could just zoom past them…
From one attraction…
…to the next…
There was really no limit to where we could go on these things. From narrow pathways through the city…
…to off-roading through the dirt, rocks, water, sand and grass within the city parks. Much of what we learned about the city we learned while standing atop two wheels and a some gyroscopes. This included the previously mentioned info about the cathedral which just so happened to be the last spot in the tour where we had a look inside…
…at the domes…
…and the textile-like ceilings.
And of course what place of worship would be complete without a massive organ…
…and some religious figures to worship.
It was getting late and our 3-hour tour was now almost 4-hours long so we hopped back on our trusty steeds outside the elaborately carved cathedral doors…
…and sped off into the sunset (at 12mph), just like Don Quixote once did!
Okay, you can stop laughing now. If you too want to have a lot of fun, see a lot of Madrid, and learn a lot about the city, head on over to MadSegs.com to book your reservations.
What is fun? I’ll tell you. Fun is waiting in line for 2 hours at the Barcelona train station trying to get tickets for the train to Madrid. Apparently there was an employee strike of some sort, and only 1 of the 8 ticket windows was open.
Here’s a high speed video of the clock at the train station. No, really… time was moving THAT fast. I kid you not.
During the course of the wait, one TV news film crew interviewed me, another tried to (but only wanted Spanish speakers) and another filmed me for some b-roll (not sure if it was used or not).
Once we finally got the tickets, I was so beyond caring about anything that I actually stooped so low as to eat at McDonalds! The first time in over 4 years I consumed something from Mickey D’s. Damn unions!
It also makes the heart skip beats, and singes your nose hairs, and makes your eyes water, and looks like cloudy urine, and tastes like black licorice.
But hey, when in Rome (or Spain as the case may be), do as the Spaniards and just do stuff you can’t legally do in the US.
…with its ceiling stained caramel from centuries of cigarette smoke, and the feeble light that shimmers from its ridiculously ornate electric chandeliers, this nearly 200-year-old bar— reputedly the oldest in Barcelona — feels more late-night than most.
And I tell ya, I don’t think they have painted the place once since then. It’s quite an antique.
About 60km northwest of Barcelona lies a small village called Monistrol de Montserrat. Perched high up in the mountains (and I do mean high up) is Santa Maria de Montserrat, a Benedictine abbey.
It offers some spectacular views once you get up there. Just how you get up there is up to you. You could take one of the tour buses (lame) or you could take a cable car (sweet). Since we are awesome, we took a cable car.
Here’s a view on the way up of the village below.
Still ascending…
Once you’ve completed the ascent, 4055 feet up, you can walk even further up some stairs to the main plaza where you will find “La Moreneta” (the black virgin), which is Catalonia’s favorite saint. Rumor has it, it’s also the location of the Holy Grail as well! The queue to see the virgin was way too long so we roamed the grounds instead in an attempt to find the Holy Grail.
We didn’t see it anywhere down there…
So we rearranged some of the stones in this statue to get a better view…
Our efforts proved to be fruitless, so we just went to the cafeteria and ordered some fruit instead, and ate it while dangling on the edge of the world…
That’s when we got the idea that we just weren’t high enough yet, and needed more elevation (elevation: not to be confused with cow bells). It just so happens I am a funicular fanatic, and just my luck they had not one, but TWO funiculars. Funicular de Sant Joan climbs up the side of the mountain at a maximum steepness of 65%!! These nuns really know how to put the fun in FUNicular!
How’s this for a stunning view!?
Still not satisfied, we made the adventuorus decision to hike up EVEN FURTHER where there are various abandoned hovels in the cliff faces that were previously the abodes of reclusive monks.
And abandoned shrines high atop the cliffs.
REALLY high up.
Incidentally “Montserrat” literally means “jagged (serrated) mountain” in Catalan, and here you can see where it gets it’s name.
Despite our best efforts to find the Holy Grail, we had to call it a day as the last funicular of the day was leaving, and even though there were plenty of caves in the side of the mountain to provide shelter, we forgot our flint at home. So it was back down, down, down…
Barcelona is amazing, I think I’m in love with her. After tonight, she has officially taken over the top spot as my favorite city in the world (previously held by Edinburgh Scotland). The day was spent on the blue line of the ‘bus turistic’, which took us by many of the sites of the 1992 Summer Olympic games. One of the stops where we got off was Plaza España which is a major artery of the city. In the center is a huge monument…
…and at night, a flame ignites at the top of the statue and burns for several hours. There is a road leading up to the statue…
…that is flanked by two giant towers…
Farther up the road was a rather large defunct water fountain (but we’ll get to that in a minute).
And if you walk even farther up several flights of stairs, you will reach Montjuïc (translated as Hill of the Jews) which is home of Museu Nacional d’Art de Catalunya (The National Art Museum of Catalonia). From it’s vantage point you can get a great view of the city.
We popped into the museum for a quick look at a few Picasso’s…
And of course there were several pieces from Mr. Gaudà as well. One could easily spend an entire day in here as the place is massive.
After about an hour or so we decided to hop back on the bus to see the remainder of the sites..
…including man-made beaches that were constructed for the Olympics along with the boat harbor where men walk their purses on leashes.
Now then… back to that defunct fountain I mentioned.
Every Friday and Saturday between 7 and 9pm in the winter and Thursday to Sunday 8pm – midnight between June and September, the fountain comes alive in a fantastic water and light display.
In fact the entire plaza is transformed into something straight out of Fantasia. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing the site is. Photos and videos just wouldn’t do it justice. It’s truly something you have to see with your own eyes to appreciated. This fountain show puts The Bellagio’s water show to shame. It’s just that good. Here’s a video to wet your appetite (no pun intended) but seriously… do yourself a huge favor and come see this for yourself. This moment alone catapulted Barcelona into the #1 spot.
